We asked, you answered: your best date stories

A few stories from our Valentine's Day contest

Bernard Callebaut chocolates

Ah, first dates. Butterflies in your stomach, you're all dressed up, and then, potentially, magic happens. And sometimes, the magic lies in how such a terrible evening can even be possible. We asked you for your best first date stories and here are a few that we'd like to share. Congratulations to Meave for winning a year's supply (value of $600) of chocolates from Cococo Chocolatiers.

Who knew toenails could work for pickup?

My husband and I met at our friend's wedding. The wedding party was themed "colours of the rainbow". We were paired together with the colour orange.

We quickly exchanged pleasantries, linked arms and walked the aisle in the morning. He didn't talk to me the rest of the day. Well into the evening, we were told to sit back at the head table for the speeches. I saw him walking past and kicked out a chair and told him to sit down with me. I'm fairly certain I was possessed by our future baby. I had never before or since done anything quite so cool. We hit it off immediately! I told him about my toenail that was hanging by a thread that I had taped on for the wedding and he talked about dogs and other appropriate first impression material. We exchanged numbers and went for coffee the following week. February 12th is our four year anniversary and we'll be celebrating it with our eight month old baby.

-- Meave R.

Classic narcissist

We met online. In his profile, he looked like a guy that works out but I wasn't expecting to see The Hulk when we met in person. No matter, he could still be an entertaining, thoughtful guy, right? Dead wrong.

During the course of the next hour, he proceeded to brag about all his accomplishments at the gym and in life (I think he worked some type of construction job; I don't really remember and don't care). Every time he talked, he got really excited and a huge vein bulged in his forehead. He didn't ask me a single question, besides the obligatory, "So, what do you do?"

He just loved the sound of his own voice too much. I drank my wine quickly, praying it would all be over soon. My fast drinking skills were nothing compared to his, though. He managed to down three Long Island iced teas in well under an hour. Ummm... who drinks Long Islands anyways?! Hello 1992... It would also explain his choice of attire, again, nothing like his profile pictures.

At the end, there was no offer to pay for my wine (fine) but he did offer to walk me home (confusing). I didn't want this freak to know where I lived, so after a block, I said I'd be going on alone from here. That's when things got gross.

He threw up his hands in disgust and asked me, "So that's it?! The date's over?"

"Ummm yep, that's it," I replied (I am such a Debbie Downer.)

"Well, I thought you would have at least invited me over," he says, still incredulous at my rudeness.

"You must be kidding," I said, laughing really hard now. "Why, so we could have sex? I don't think so." He was so mad.

I just said, "Lose my number, K? Bye!" And off I ran, vowing to shun online datng for at least three months. Well, weeks :)

--Jenn S.

Injured cats are not gifts

I had been seeing this guy for awhile but we had never gone on a date. He decided that our first date would be on Christmas (which was a super dumb idea considering that I had to leave my family to go on this dumb date). He told me our date would consist of going over to his farm (the original Netflix and chill) and he would give me my present. I arrived at his farm, excited to see what he had got me for a present. I was hoping for a Louis Vuitton bag because I know he got all his ex-GFs one and since I was on my way to becoming a current GF, I expected big things.

He told me to go into his garage to find my present. As I was walking into his garage, I noticed a trail of blood and a faint meowing sound. There, in the middle of the garage, sat a cat wearing a bow and appeared to have been attacked by his dog. I was like, "WTF! WHY DID YOU GET ME A DYING CAT" And he was all, "Yo, I found it at the gun range for you." (Before I continue on with the story, the cat was fine.) The cat bolted out of the garage and we never saw it again. Then, his ex called him and she thanked him for the X'mas gift she had gotten that year from him (we were sitting in his car at this point, so she was on speaker), of course she got a Louis Vuitton bag and I did not. The end.

-- Jen L.

Family ties

I had been dating "Mike" for a few months. I'd met his parents and hung out with his friends a handful of times before I decided that it really wasn't working for me and broke things off. He was really upset and I felt awful. Hesitant to start dating again, I waited a couple of months before I reluctantly agreed to go on a classic dinner-and-a-movie date with a nice guy that I'd met.

"John" was great! Funny, handsome, and charming! During dinner, he mentioned that he might have to pick up his brother after the movie. He said, "Some girl broke his heart a few months ago so his friends are taking him out to get him back on the horse."

It's sweet that John would do that, right? Wrong.

As we pulled up to the pub, I could see Mike and his friends standing out front. One by one, their faces dropped when they realized it was me in the passenger seat. I was absolutely speechless. As they piled into the car, I could hear whispering before Mike finally blurt out, "What's going on here?" 

I had to tell him that I had just gone on a date with John. His older brother! We made small talk for a couple of minutes and just as I thought things might be OK, John asked, "Where am I taking you guys?" Mike's response? "Well, it looks like I'm going back to the heartbreak hotel, eh guys?"

That was the last time I ever saw John. Almost seven years later, I still run into Mike all the time.

-- Kelly M.

Good, bad, and ugly, all at the same time

I met a guy online and made arrangements to meet him at a coffeehouse in Kensington. His photo wasn't super clear, so I only had a vague sense of what he looked like.

I tend to show up to everything early, so I went into the coffee house expecting to find a spot and stare at the door in anticipation for 20 minutes or so. When I arrived at the venue, I was surprised to see a handsome, lone gentleman at a table waiting. I approached him, said, "Hello," pointed to the empty chair and asked if I could sit. He was receptive and friendly, so I just began to talk to him about an online conversation we'd started.

He looked at me like I was from another planet. And slowly, it dawned on me that this was not the guy I'd met online, but a total and absolute stranger.

"Uh, I've made a mistake," I said, "I'm supposed to be on a blind date and I thought you were him."

I got up to leave, but he insisted I stay until my date arrived. Who knew I could be charming and outgoing? We discussed what we did for a living, what we liked about Calgary and what we did for respective fun hobbies. He drove motorcycles, of course ;)

While we continued talking, I noticed another lone gentleman take a spot at the table beside us, I also noticed how miffed he was that his date was busy in a conversation with another man. I excused myself from the friendly, interesting, motorcyclist and joined my actual date at his table. He immediately suggested we change venues and go for a walk. So, we left and sauntered around Kensington for a bit. For a stand-up comedian, he wasn't too funny or interesting, and after he made a derogatory comment about my footwear, I suggested we end the date.

I ran back (in my allegedly "ugly" shoes) to try to find the first stranger at the coffee house, but he was long gone. And so a romantic comedy about this encounter will never be made, and Renee Zellweger will not play me in the role of doofus online dater.

-- Jessica C.