For every boob, sex and murder scene in Game of Thrones, there’s a dining scene. From primal to elegant, there’s no shortage of food porn to depict the characters’ desperate need for sustenance and the opulence of feasts. As gleeful as the tits-staring adolescent male audience, we foodies wonder what the stews, roasted meats, pies and sausages are like in real life (except for vegetarians, because no one eats salad on the show). Hell, Cersei makes us want to top up our wine every time she appears. Well, we obviously can’t (nor do we want to) eat exacted what’s portrayed, but we can interpret and make our own.
In the first season, Daenerys Targaryen gnaws on a bloody stallion heart as a part of the Dothraki motherhood ritual for a brave son. Yeah, we’re going to pass on that. But, beef heart, when prepared properly, can be absolutely delectable. This muscular cut is not mealy, like liver can be. It’s a dense and flavourful part that can be prepared many ways. Have it rare in the form of a tartar or skewer small pieces and put it on the grill.
Sansa can be seen eating lemon cakes throughout the story. We'll never know if those are delightful lemon cakes or just dense and sugary lemon squares, but chef Anna Olson has a recipe for mini lemon chiffon cakes with lemon crystal glaze that we want to eat, like, right now.
Whether it's the lamprey pie that Tyrion feasts on or the pigeon pie from the "Purple Wedding", it seems like there's always a pie when the rich eat. Chef Corbin Tomaszeski has a recipe for seafood pie with scallops, shrimps, salmon and tilapia. For more sustainable seafood recipes, like a puff pastry fish pie, check out The Ocean Wise Cookbook.
When it comes to meat pie, the Canadian tourtiere can just drop the mic and walk off the stage. For this quintessential Canadian veal and pork pie, we're looking to iconic French-Canadian chefs Chuck Hughes and Ricardo for recipes.
And who can forget the scene after Theon Greyjoy has his schlong cut and Ramsay Snow waves a sausage around. Not an appetizing thought, we know.
Sausages can easily be made at home. For this, we turn to meat and charcuterie expert from CHARCUT Roast House, Connie DeSousa for her smoked garlic sausage recipe that calls for pork shoulder and pork belly.
Bowl o' brown
This Fleabottom dish doesn’t actually exist, but we can take a stab at what it might taste like using better ingredients and techniques. It’s likely going to be a meat stew, probably of all meager organ meats and chewy bits that's cooked for hours. Here's Fresh Juice's recipe for a beef stew with instructions on adding kidneys as a variation.
In season 4, Styr and the Thenns roast an arm over open fire. Let it be known for the record that we do not practice or condone cannibalism. We can, however, try to adapt this to social norms. Since there’s been stories about how human meat taste like pork (although the flavour between individuals probably vary greatly, more so than between pigs, because of different diets), the most suitable cut of meat for this would likely be ham hocks. It’s the stubby little arms and legs of pigs below the shoulder and the ham that can be roasted in addition to being stewed or braised. Passion For Pork has a recipe for slow roasted pork hock with Asian spices from chef Alex Mok of Vancouver's Cache Bistro.
Would you be willing to die over a chicken? If so, it better be damn good! In "Two Swords", Arya and the Hound come across a Lannister punk who has Arya's sword "Needle". So in typical Game of Thrones fashion, the duo goes in to take it, but not before asking for some chicken. Who knows if that chicken is even good? What we do know is that chef Michael Smith has a recipe for brined roast chicken that's to die for.